Read The Center Cannot Hold: My Journey Through Madness By Elyn R. Saks

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The Center Cannot Hold: My Journey Through Madness-Elyn R. Saks

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A much-praised memoir of living and surviving mental illness as well as "a stereotype-shattering look at a tenacious woman whose brain is her best friend and her worst enemy" (Time). Elyn R. Saks is an esteemed professor, lawyer, and psychiatrist and is the Orrin B. Evans Professor of Law, Psychology, Psychiatry, and the Behavioral Sciences at the University of Southern California Law School, yet she has suffered from schizophrenia for most of her life, and still has ongoing major episodes of the illness. The Center Cannot Hold is the eloquent, moving story of Elyn's life, from the first time that she heard voices speaking to her as a young teenager, to attempted suicides in college, through learning to live on her own as an adult in an often terrifying world. Saks discusses frankly the paranoia, the inability to tell imaginary fears from real ones, the voices in her head telling her to kill herself (and to harm others), as well as the incredibly difficult obstacles she overcame to become a highly respected professional. This beautifully written memoir is destined to become a classic in its genre.

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I was admitted to the bar in 1978 and worked in one of the private high stress law firms that the author referred to. I agree with her assessment that she couldn’t have survived in that environment. There’s an old saying that applies to Ms. Saks: those who can’t, teach. Although she has a law degree from an excellent law school, she has never practiced law. She’s never had to deal with clients, draft documents, depose witnesses or appear in court. I had mixed feelings about the book until she graduated from law school and had to apply to the bar and find a job .She got accepted by USC Law School as a professor. I believe that the primary job of a law professor is to teach others how to practice law. In her first year she taught criminal law to a bunch of first year law students. She admits that she didn’t know what she was teaching and kept one chapter ahead of her students. The students knew they were not getting the instruction they were entitled to and she was savaged in her reviews. For some strange reason she was permitted to continue to teach this important course again the next year. That wouldn’t have happened at the law school I went to. She barely mentions law students in the book. She makes the law school look as the quintessential ivory tower, a place where she can seclude herself in her office and the library and write paper after paper. But law school is not like an undergraduate university, where the faculty can ignore the students and write abstruse articles on arcane subjects which only other people in academia care about. The job of a law professor is to train young men and women to practice a profession which is very important to our society. If a lawyer receives inadequate training, it can result in someone going to prison who isn’t guilty. Or, to use an analogy closer to home, a mental patient may have to remain incarcerated or be forced to take medication they hate because their lawyer is incompetent.I was also bothered by her failure to acknowledge that her success never would have happened if she didn’t have very wealthy and tolerant parents. Other people, like Steve, were unbelievably giving. She generated a one way support network which is usually not available to mentally ill people, who are usually shunned.When I was reading the book, I couldn’t help contrasting her to a young schizophrenic man I saw in a TV program on homelessness. He came from an upper middle class home. His parents had run out of money paying for mental hospitals. I think they couldn’t put up with his antics anymore. For whatever reason, he ended up a homeless beggar in New York, wandering the streets, filthy and talking to himself. One day his body ended up floating in the Hudson River.
Having grown up with a maternal grandmother with severe bi-polar, a mother who was diagnosed bi-polar in her later life , an uncle who committed sucicide and now a grown son suffering with schizophrenia, I must share my sincere thanks to the author. For those who had issues with this honest, heart-wrenching story, I pray that you never have to experience how a loved one suffers with this disease and I strongly suggest that you take time to thank God that mental illness has not entered your life. Through constant weekly counseling, a committed personal psychiatrist and a network of loving and supportive friends and family members, I am confident that I continue to do everything possible to find the strength, tools and ongoing hope that my son will be able to lead a productive and happy life. Mrs Saks has provided me with the insight into my son's daily struggles. He has come to a stage in his illness where he is sharing more and more of what is happening in his mind and we can discuss how he feels. After reading everything I can get my hands on, this personal biography with its explicit detail, has helped me cope and find answers to the ever-changing situations and challenges that are faced daily. My mother got involved in the mental health movement at an early age. Consequently, through her volunteer work and commitment to helping my grandmother who suffered for over 35 years, mother connected with mental health professionals who first experimented with lithium used for alcoholics and then those suffering from bi-polar. After the normal compliance issues, my grandmother's twilight years were peaceful and happy due to lithium. She lived out her life with grace and dignity. My hope is that my son, too, will find his way back from this disease and find a way to give back to society like Mrs Saks has done. Thank you for giving me this forum to share a small portion of my story. Thank you Mrs Saks - you are helping me and my son beyond your wildest dreams!

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